Easy link : http://biggaygay.com/vantage
Post stolen from last year which was stolen from the year before! G-ddamn I'm lazy!
Friday 5/28 - Monday 5/31 FREE CAMPING!
Come for the whole time, or just a day stop on your way to Sasquatch Festival!
It's time for this year's installment of the Big Gay, Gay Camping Trip. Camping, swimming, [redacted], [redacted], [redacted... twice], and fun!
A bunch of us are heading there Thursday evening and we will be there until sometime on Monday, weather (and energy) permitting.
For those of you returning, we will be camped at the usual spot (depending on availability). No matter what, we won't venture far from the fence near the walkway to the big swimming area.
For you newbies, here are the directions, instructions, and demands that will get you there and get you through the weekend. G-d help us all..... G-d fucking help us all.....
Woob woob woob woob woob... AHH!
Directions from Seattle (Sorry Eastern Suckahz!)
- Take I-90 Eastbound
- Take a right on WA-26 (after the big, long, hard, bridge over the Columbia)
- Take a right on WA-243
- Take a right on the dirt road just down a couple hundred feet or so (it will sneak up on you. RAWR!)
- PARK MOTHAH FUCKAS!
- Walk about 1 mile (yes, seriously, you'll feel like you may have gone too far, but you haven't) straight back in the park. Thank G-d I've included a map for you to print if you want!
- We will be camped near the fence. If you go through a fence, you've gone too far asshat. Turn around. Depending on availability we may have to camp away from our normal spot. We will be within a 50 yard distance or so. Look for teh gays. We will be there.
GOOGLEFIED MAP!
CLICK ME!BEFORE you come to Vantage:
- Bring wood (The kind you burn, and the kind you keep in your pants). There is no wood to gather, please bring AT LEAST one bundle of wood with you to help fuel the group fire so we can all avoid having to make really long drives back to Ellensburg.
- Bring booze. This park allows liquor, so stock the fuck up. Last thing you want to deal with at 5am when you want to continue partying with the frat guys experimenting with their sexuality, is running out of your favorite drink, a Cozmo fu-fu-puffy-funk-pretty-titty-unf-unf. Don't be "That Guy" that doesn't have his preferred drink. Stock up.
- Bring cigarettes. The closest cities are George, Kittitas, and Ellensburg. Miles and miles and miles and miles away. Once you drive forever to get to them you will find they don't have the cigarettes you want anyways! Fudge that! Just buy a freakin carton and have them ready. You can smoke your leftover packs when you get home from camping.
- Bring layers of clothes. Bring warm clothes, cold clothes, swimming trunks, beach blanket, leather restraints, sarongs, nipple clamps, sling, etc. Layers are an awesome idea so you can bundle up or strip down to your skivies. The weather can be oven hot during the day and freezer cold in the evening. Don't get caught having to slut it up with some annoying douche just to share his sleeping bag or his extra hoodie. BE PREPARED! BE, BE PREPARED!
- Bring food and water. Bring enough food and water to get through the weekend. "Experts" suggest 1 gallon of drinking water per day, per person and something like 2000 calories of nom nom noms. I know you're all watching your figure and drinking 1 cup of water and 200 calories a day, but bring more food just in case. We will force feed you that food when you pass out from malnutrition.
- Bring a tent, sleeping bag, etc. You may be able to shack up with someone, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Please be prepared to take care of yourself over the length of your stay.
- Bring sanitary stuff. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, hand wipes, etc. You'll appreciate doing so a lot more come Sunday at 3am when you decide to do that last minute business before going to bed and realize the porta-potties are nasty and empty of toilet paper. Trust me on this.
- Bring PRIDE flags. This is the Big GAY, GAY camping trip in Vantage. We fly our colors high and proud.
- Don't bring glass. or at least don't bring much. It tends to break and makes for unpleasant times for everyone. Plastic and aluminum is always better.
While you're getting crunked at Vantage:
- Put your garbage in a garbage sack. I (and others) will provide plenty of bags to dump your garbage in. THE RANGERS will even give us garbage bags. Utilize them!
- Your penalty for NOT utilizing the garbage sacks is THE RANGERS will blow air horns directly at your tent if they find loose garbage laying about (I am not fucking joking). I will be forced to cook up [random person who doesn't throw their shit away] and have an awesome [random person who doesn't throw their shit away] bacon and eggs breakfast. The rest of us will rejoice when you are gone. You will be cooked. I suck at cooking. Don't make a sucky cook be forced to cook your ass up and be served so dishonorably. This is your only warning.
- Do not throw your unopened beer cans in the fire. It isn't as cool as you would think. Someone discovered this interesting game a couple years ago. This year anyone who does this will automatically be volunteered as the sacrifice to [insert random G-d]. Your saving throw will be -10 against Kyle Prime - You will lose.
- Know your limits! Kyle Prime will be completely sauced this whole camping trip and does not want to babysit the chirren. Kyle Prime will NOT want to turn in to Momma Kyle - those days are behind him... mostly...
- Play safe. DON'T forget your safety word! (Mine is "5 fat females sitting sipping scotch on the seashore"... just so you know. *wink*)
- There are other people not of our group who will be camping around us throughout Vantage. Families, college kids, hippies, you name it. Everyone is there to party and have fun.
- Toilets are available close by. They are stinky and nasty, but they are there. Be sure to bring toilet paper with you or you may regret it.
Last but not least, Have fun motherfuckers.
I believe all pictures are taken by Garet and Dusty (please correct me if I'm wrong)
2009
2008
2007
